Pick-up Lines: The (Not so) Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

30 Oct

Since moving to Botswana, I have met some really great people. I have also met a lot really seedy men with even seedier lines. Here are some of the lines I have gotten so far:
“I want to be your special friend… do you know what I mean, special friend?”
“Hey white girl! I want to come visit you at your house.”
“Come to my home in Harare and I will teach you how to swim.” (this one is particularly great when you know that I have competed both provincially and nationally at lifeguarding)
This one from a middle-aged woman: “You are how old? 21? My youngest son is 24 and he still needs a wife. How many cows do your parents want?”
This one from a drunken man, who is mumbling in broken English and can barely stand straight: “I sit beside you? I just want to know you.”
“I have (insert number here) cows. How many cows do your parents want?”
“Buy me a drink?”
“The best way to learn Setswana is from the pillow.”
“If you kiss a Motswana, then you will know how to speak Setswana.”
“I am looking for a mother to my son – maybe it will be you.” (My response to this: “How old is your son?” “14” “And you are how old?” “35” “Your son is closer to my age than you are.” “Oh…”)
“Actions speak louder than words and I have tried to show you that I want to be your friend. And your lover.”
I had became really close friends to a Motswana boy in Kang, and when he left early, other men took it as an opportunity to hit on me. These are some lines I got: “Can I take care you the way he did?” “He blew his chance to date a white girl! If it was me, I would marry you,” “He’s not coming back. But I can make you come. Do you know what I mean, come?” (Yeah, class act that last one. I played dumb.)
Well there you have it! My fellow indevours and expat friends – what lines have you all gotten so far?

5 Responses to “Pick-up Lines: The (Not so) Good, the Bad, and the Ugly”

  1. verolynne at 1:24 pm #

    When I lived in Rome for a month, we visited Florence one weekend and it seemed every young guy there had learned the same pick up line in English and wanted to try it out. Every time we turned a corner, walked down the street… passed any guy around our age it was “Excuse me miss… you dropped something!” and if you responded they’d say: “You droppa my heart! *clutches at chest*”
    I wasn’t sure if they were laughing at us, or just trying to get us to laugh… 😛

  2. marnie rice at 10:18 pm #

    Kyla- Glad you’re keeping your sense of humour about it!
    Aunt Marnie

  3. shiggs91 at 9:35 pm #

    When I was in Ethiopia I got some great ones… “You want to make babies?” “You raise baby?”
    My favourite conversation went like this: “Do your parents like cows?” “No, they don’t have space for cows.” “Oh, no space for cows… Do they like goats?” “No, they don’t have space for goats.” “No space for goats!?!” short pause “Oh chickens! They can keep chickens anywhere! How many chickens do they want?” “My parents don’t want chickens and don’t believe in the idea of a bride price.” “Oh, so I can have you for free?”

  4. shiggs91 at 9:32 pm #

    Reblogged this on finding development and commented:
    Oh the pick-up lines..
    I’d like to add:
    “Are you married?” “Do you want to be…?”
    “Anh yeu em!” (I love you)
    “You came here to find husband?”
    “Can you cook? Can you clean? Ah, you’d make a good wife!”
    “You have boyfriend? Is he Vietnamese? Well then you can have another boyfriend!”
    “You need a lover to learn the language”

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